One of the things that sucks about getting into your 40s, 50s and beyond is that increasingly, friends and family start dying off. Even sometimes the death of folks you don't know well can affect you when the news reaches you.... a coworker, current or former. Maybe an online contact you had a friendship with but never met in person.
I had an experience about a decade ago, where a friend who was also into music fell ill with cancer. During his treatment, when he still wasn't sure how things were going to go, he started purchasing all of the hardware gear he had previously talked himself out of buying, and building his dream studio.. He barely had time to listen to all the presets of one synth before he was adding another. As things became more grim, all he wanted was to escape the hospital and get back to his studio. I remember being in mine, and literally feeling guilty while making music...guilty that I couldn't just go and be his substitute for a while to buy him some music making time. It really hit home and impacted me permanently, because I realized, that if I found out I was dying, this is probably what I would want to spend a good portion of my time doing on the way out. No doubt I would want to also spend as many moments with my girlfriend and family as I could, but they say when you're dying there is a natural tendency to gravitate away from social connections as part of preparing for departure from the physical world.
Since that experience, I've lost other friends, and noticed that while sick, the ones that are musicians almost always prioritize music higher than they would if their health was not in question. There is something there.
I'm mentioning this now in part because it's happened again, I recently learned I'm losing yet another friend to cancer. But beyond that, I just realized that in new synths and studio related improvements, I spent quite a bit of money during the span of this pandemic; far more than I ever have in a single year. I've had a rotation of hardware in and out over the years, but never really splurged like this before.
To be honest I wish I had placed a little higher priority on music gear in general, and making time to be a better musician/producer etc. a long time ago. I started in the 80s, but because music was never my professional calling, I always found a reason to deprioritize spending time on it... the kinds of rationalizations were the gear is so expensive, what if I have a home or car repair emergency and regret the purchase, what if its buggy or I get bored with it, or convincing myself plugins sound just as good, or whatever. I just always seemed to talk myself out of what I really wanted.
Maybe I should be thankful for the COVID pandemic, because it made me realize I don't want to wait until I have a few months to live to start actually LIVING. When my time does come, I'd rather be able to say I minimized my regrets by doing the things I really wanted to do (and here's the key), for the duration that I chose to do them. I did not want to be sitting there in a hospital bed wondering why I short-circuited my own passions? I've loved music and synths in particular since I was a toddler and I first listened to them in amazement on my parents radio, and wondered at how a particular sound was made. If anything, I'm somewhat ashamed I didn't pursue my passion more doggedly when I was younger.
Just a thought I wanted to share. I'm not suggesting anyone go out and accumulate a lot of debt buying gear they can't afford, or just to feed the all-too-common G.A.S. But, if you're like I was, be aware that being too frugal sometimes just ain't living, and you don't want to wait until someone tells you you're dying to start really living. Even when you are old and frail, those memories of when you were living right will be extremely valuable.