Considering selling off all my gear.

Considering selling off all my gear.
« on: January 24, 2023, 05:32:47 AM »
I suppose this has been a long time coming. I'm suffering quite a bit from depression recently and I'm strongly considering selling off all of my gear. For a number of reasons, one the cost of living has risen to the point where despite making more money then I ever have before I still am struggling to make ends meet and as such I've already sold the Stratocaster my dad bought me, my Ibanez guitars, my Jackson V guitars, sold off my Alesis Multistrike Pro just to cover bills.

More recently my computer has been acting up quite a bit and needs to either be repaired or replaced, I don't have the funds for this either so that has put a pause on doing any recording at all. This has given me time to reflect on what music or just being a creative (Writing, painting, filmmaking etc) means to me. I'm now forced to focus more on survival rather than personal desires and goals (Which I think is the story of everyone's life right now) and with that focus I've come to the conclusion that I don't really have the desire to do it anymore. I'm so concerned with spending money on..well...anything that I've lost all the momentum to continue. I don't want to spend money on cables or a new computer because I'm afraid something is going to come up where I'll need that money and I'd rather have it rather than be scrambling for it.

Anyway, this is a random rant. I'm not even sure anyone has noticed that I haven't really been active on here or my YouTube channel or FB groups or whatever, I think it's time to call it quits for me. Just wondering if anyone else has ever experienced something similar or if they have actually sold off everything before and what was their thought process afterwards?

jg666

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Re: Considering selling off all my gear.
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2023, 08:35:42 AM »
I do know what you are going through as Iíve been through very similar things. In the end it was my synths that helped me through my sticky patches so Iíve always been glad that Iíve still got them and they will probably be one of the last things I will sell :)

I did suffer with mild depression before the lockdown but during the lockdown it did get worse because Iím on my own and was not part of any ďbubbleĒ so didnít have any company for well over a year. It was during those days my synths and synth forums and youtube channels that really helped me though it all.

Then at the end of 2021 I decide to finish work completely. I was 60 but donít get any state pension until Iím 67 and have no private pensions but I thought Iíd got enough savings to keep me going until I reach 67. A few months later everything started going crazy and now I know I wonít have enough money but I donít care :) I will just enjoy my hobbies and ignore everything else and keep myself sane and depression free hopefully.

Hope everything sorts itself out for you, just think of me with zero income and youíll feel a little better !!! :)
DSI Prophet Rev2, DSI Pro 2, Moog Sub37, Korg Minilogue, Yamaha MOXF6, Yamaha MODX6, Yamaha Montage6

Re: Considering selling off all my gear.
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2023, 08:50:00 AM »
I suppose this has been a long time coming. I'm suffering quite a bit from depression recently and I'm strongly considering selling off all of my gear. For a number of reasons, one the cost of living has risen to the point where despite making more money then I ever have before I still am struggling to make ends meet and as such I've already sold the Stratocaster my dad bought me, my Ibanez guitars, my Jackson V guitars, sold off my Alesis Multistrike Pro just to cover bills.

More recently my computer has been acting up quite a bit and needs to either be repaired or replaced, I don't have the funds for this either so that has put a pause on doing any recording at all. This has given me time to reflect on what music or just being a creative (Writing, painting, filmmaking etc) means to me. I'm now forced to focus more on survival rather than personal desires and goals (Which I think is the story of everyone's life right now) and with that focus I've come to the conclusion that I don't really have the desire to do it anymore. I'm so concerned with spending money on..well...anything that I've lost all the momentum to continue. I don't want to spend money on cables or a new computer because I'm afraid something is going to come up where I'll need that money and I'd rather have it rather than be scrambling for it.

Anyway, this is a random rant. I'm not even sure anyone has noticed that I haven't really been active on here or my YouTube channel or FB groups or whatever, I think it's time to call it quits for me. Just wondering if anyone else has ever experienced something similar or if they have actually sold off everything before and what was their thought process afterwards?

Really sorry you're having such a rough time with both health and finances. I'm cautious about handing out advice, but with the understanding you've already let go of one of the instruments you got from your father, I'm hoping you can hold onto the Prophet X. If I'm remembering, that's also an instrument he helped you land.


Re: Considering selling off all my gear.
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2023, 10:00:42 AM »
I suppose this has been a long time coming. I'm suffering quite a bit from depression recently and I'm strongly considering selling off all of my gear. For a number of reasons, one the cost of living has risen to the point where despite making more money then I ever have before I still am struggling to make ends meet and as such I've already sold the Stratocaster my dad bought me, my Ibanez guitars, my Jackson V guitars, sold off my Alesis Multistrike Pro just to cover bills.

More recently my computer has been acting up quite a bit and needs to either be repaired or replaced, I don't have the funds for this either so that has put a pause on doing any recording at all. This has given me time to reflect on what music or just being a creative (Writing, painting, filmmaking etc) means to me. I'm now forced to focus more on survival rather than personal desires and goals (Which I think is the story of everyone's life right now) and with that focus I've come to the conclusion that I don't really have the desire to do it anymore. I'm so concerned with spending money on..well...anything that I've lost all the momentum to continue. I don't want to spend money on cables or a new computer because I'm afraid something is going to come up where I'll need that money and I'd rather have it rather than be scrambling for it.

Anyway, this is a random rant. I'm not even sure anyone has noticed that I haven't really been active on here or my YouTube channel or FB groups or whatever, I think it's time to call it quits for me. Just wondering if anyone else has ever experienced something similar or if they have actually sold off everything before and what was their thought process afterwards?

Really sorry you're having such a rough time with both health and finances. I'm cautious about handing out advice, but with the understanding you've already let go of one of the instruments you got from your father, I'm hoping you can hold onto the Prophet X. If I'm remembering, that's also an instrument he helped you land.

Yes he bought it for me after I lost my job.

At this point though, I'm very much in the mindset of "All or nothing". So if I'm going to sell everything the PX will go as well. Not something I want to do but since I'm not able to record music now and since I can't afford to buy a new computer or at least I'm paranoid that I can't afford to buy a new computer, it's all stuck in limbo.

I actually called a debt counselling company and I was asking them to help me. I don't have any debt but I'm expecting that I will and they are just looking at me with absolute confusion and obviously there's no way they can really advise anything.

My shrink said that what I'm experiencing now is the death of an ego/dream and it's something a lot of creative people go through. The realization that it's either struggling to survive but indulge in your creativity or come to the realization that it's okay to just say "I'm a grocery clerk." "I'm a truck driver" "I'm a regular person."

Re: Considering selling off all my gear.
« Reply #4 on: January 24, 2023, 10:35:55 AM »
I suppose this has been a long time coming. I'm suffering quite a bit from depression recently and I'm strongly considering selling off all of my gear. For a number of reasons, one the cost of living has risen to the point where despite making more money then I ever have before I still am struggling to make ends meet and as such I've already sold the Stratocaster my dad bought me, my Ibanez guitars, my Jackson V guitars, sold off my Alesis Multistrike Pro just to cover bills.

More recently my computer has been acting up quite a bit and needs to either be repaired or replaced, I don't have the funds for this either so that has put a pause on doing any recording at all. This has given me time to reflect on what music or just being a creative (Writing, painting, filmmaking etc) means to me. I'm now forced to focus more on survival rather than personal desires and goals (Which I think is the story of everyone's life right now) and with that focus I've come to the conclusion that I don't really have the desire to do it anymore. I'm so concerned with spending money on..well...anything that I've lost all the momentum to continue. I don't want to spend money on cables or a new computer because I'm afraid something is going to come up where I'll need that money and I'd rather have it rather than be scrambling for it.

Anyway, this is a random rant. I'm not even sure anyone has noticed that I haven't really been active on here or my YouTube channel or FB groups or whatever, I think it's time to call it quits for me. Just wondering if anyone else has ever experienced something similar or if they have actually sold off everything before and what was their thought process afterwards?

Yes, I actually was wondering where you've been.  I haven't seen a forum post from you for quite a while.

I want to say, "We've all been there,"  Lobolives.  Clinically depressed or not, we musicians have our ups and downs, first, because we tend to be emotionally sensitive, and second, because music-making is a difficult means of even partly supporting yourself.

In a similar state of mind as you presently have, I've given up music and sold my instruments twice in my life.  In both cases, I terribly regretted doing so.  I would strongly suggest something: don't get dramatic and throw it all away.  If you have to make some changes and sell some equipment, try to do so with moderation.  You can get all upset and rid yourself of these things, but then realize later the problem was elsewhere in your life, or that you could have weathered this with a little more patience.  Life changes.  Your circumstances might be better in a couple of years.  So, if you must sell some equipment to make ends meet, so be it.  But hold onto something - at least your very favorite instrument.  Believe me, when you come to your senses one day and realize you no longer have the tools to make the music you love, you might be far more depressed as a result than you are right now.  Music equipment is outrageously expensive, and once it's sold, it'll be difficult to start accumulating it all over again.  All I'm suggesting is that you should be careful; don't burn all your bridges.  Keep something for the future. 
« Last Edit: January 25, 2023, 05:42:43 AM by Sacred Synthesis »
"Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity!"

- Henry David Thoreau

The Musical Synthesizer YouTube Channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChLGwGiRVs7rlZXnOG9_mUw

The Musical Synthesizer Blog: https://themusicalsynthesizer.wordpress.com

Re: Considering selling off all my gear.
« Reply #5 on: January 24, 2023, 11:13:06 AM »
I suppose this has been a long time coming. I'm suffering quite a bit from depression recently and I'm strongly considering selling off all of my gear. For a number of reasons, one the cost of living has risen to the point where despite making more money then I ever have before I still am struggling to make ends meet and as such I've already sold the Stratocaster my dad bought me, my Ibanez guitars, my Jackson V guitars, sold off my Alesis Multistrike Pro just to cover bills.

More recently my computer has been acting up quite a bit and needs to either be repaired or replaced, I don't have the funds for this either so that has put a pause on doing any recording at all. This has given me time to reflect on what music or just being a creative (Writing, painting, filmmaking etc) means to me. I'm now forced to focus more on survival rather than personal desires and goals (Which I think is the story of everyone's life right now) and with that focus I've come to the conclusion that I don't really have the desire to do it anymore. I'm so concerned with spending money on..well...anything that I've lost all the momentum to continue. I don't want to spend money on cables or a new computer because I'm afraid something is going to come up where I'll need that money and I'd rather have it rather than be scrambling for it.

Anyway, this is a random rant. I'm not even sure anyone has noticed that I haven't really been active on here or my YouTube channel or FB groups or whatever, I think it's time to call it quits for me. Just wondering if anyone else has ever experienced something similar or if they have actually sold off everything before and what was their thought process afterwards?

Yes, I actually was wondering where you've been.  I haven't seen a forum post from you for quite a while.

I want to say, "We've all been there,"  Lobolives.  Clinically depressed or not, we musicians have our ups and downs, first, because we tend to be emotionally sensitive, and second, because music-making is a difficult means of even partly supporting yourself.

In a similar state of mind as you presently have, I've given up music and sold my instruments twice in my life.  In both cases, I terribly regretted doing so.  I would strongly suggest something: don't get dramatic; don't throw it all away.  If you have to make some changes and sell some equipment, try to do so with moderation.  Because you can get all upset and rid yourself of all these things, but then realize later the problem was elsewhere, or that you could have weathered this with a little more patience.  Life changes.  Your circumstances might be better in a couple of years.  So, if you must sell some equipment to make ends meet, so be it.  But hold onto something - at least your very favorite instrument.  Believe me, when you come to your senses one day and realize you no longer have the tools to make the music you love, you might be far more depressed as a result than you are right now.  Music equipment is outrageously expensive, and once it's sold, it'll be very difficult to start accumulating it all over again.  All I'm suggesting is that you should be careful; don't burn all your bridges.

The problem is I currently have a "All or nothing" type mentality so it's at a point now where if I'm going to do something I'm just going to go all the way and not look back. I was actually speaking with Espen Kraft about it and he said sometimes it's better to just cut and run. Sell off everything and don't look back and just move on. I remember reading up on this makeup/special effects artist Rob Bottin (he did the effects in The Howling, John Carpenter's The Thing etc) and now he just works in real estate and doesn't do anything creative and I dunno a lot of people look at that and say "Ugh what a waste. How sad." but I dunno, is it? He doesn't owe anyone anything. He isn't hurting anyone. What's the issue? I think the problem with being a creative is there's so much pressure that is mentally put on them to "make something" be it from others or themselves. There's something kind of nice about just waking up, going to work, eating dinner and going to bed. There's no expectations and therefore no pressure or extra work to be done.

LPF83

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Re: Considering selling off all my gear.
« Reply #6 on: January 24, 2023, 11:15:35 AM »
I can only convey some of my own experiences here, maybe doing so will help in some small way.

I remember selling all my synths when I was in college because I needed the money for a better computer, and because I was a computer science major, putting the money into something that helped me make a living one day seemed wiser than spending on music gear, since I never personally had aspirations of being involved in music professionally.   Also, and perhaps of more consequence was the amount of time I would end up spending making music.  That too was time that could be spent studying or doing something toward shaping my career.  I remember feeling guilty anytime I spent time on music of video games.  So, music was put completely on hold, and I just studied my ass off for the most part.

In my second year of college I remember hitting max stress level, and actually calling one of those hotlines the school had listed in case a student needs to talk to someone.  It was only a single conversation with a professional counselor that lasted maybe 40 mins, but it was enormously helpful.  He had me describe my routine to him, and when I did he said "what do you do for fun?"... and I realized I had completely put "fun" on hold.   Making music was one form of fun and a creative outlet, but I had given that up.  I had forgotten to carve out "me time".

Anyway I didn't immediately start buying gear again, in fact it wasn't really until DAW technology evolved to become a complete solution that I started spending more time with music, and for a long time it was in-the-box / plugins only.  Then the occasional hardware purchase, etc. started happening, and when the pandemic hit, I think I got to a point where I realized making music is incredible therapy for life's stress, and started investing in my current studio more.

What did I learn along the way?  Well that I'm happiest when I minimize my long-term regrets.  My biggest regret as it relates to making music or music gear is that I didn't allocate more time to the hobby.   I could have been a better keyboard player if I had invested more time to practice, or I would have invested the time to memorize scales,..  Lots of my music theory has been lost to "use it or lose it syndrome"... wish I had used it more.  I wish I had bought certain pieces of gear when they were affordable, and invested time to learn them inside and out.

As with all things, your mileage may vary.... but synth enthusiasts are notorious for selling it all off, only to eventually either buy it all back or just moan about the pieces they should have never let go.

Also remember there are some enormously talented, famous people who simply threw in the towel altogether on music due to personal reasons never fully understood by their fans.   Examples that come to mind are Mark Hollis (Talk Talk) and Alan Wilder (Depeche Mode).  And those departures are literally mourned by thousands of people, bummed that they will never hear more works from those artists.  They had their reasons, they knew what was right for them.  Ultimately each of us has to make our own choices and live with them.
Prophet 10, Prophet 6, OB-6, Prophet 12m, Prophet Rev2-16, Toraiz AS-1, Pro 2, Virus TI2, Moog SlimPhatty, Hydrasynth desktop, Korg Minilogue XDm, Roland JP-8080, Roland System-8, Roland SPD-SX SE / Octapad, Maschine, Cubase

Re: Considering selling off all my gear.
« Reply #7 on: January 24, 2023, 11:22:25 AM »
The problem is I currently have a "All or nothing" type mentality so it's at a point now where if I'm going to do something I'm just going to go all the way and not look back. I was actually speaking with Espen Kraft about it and he said sometimes it's better to just cut and run. Sell off everything and don't look back and just move on. I remember reading up on this makeup/special effects artist Rob Bottin (he did the effects in The Howling, John Carpenter's The Thing etc) and now he just works in real estate and doesn't do anything creative and I dunno a lot of people look at that and say "Ugh what a waste. How sad." but I dunno, is it? He doesn't owe anyone anything. He isn't hurting anyone. What's the issue? I think the problem with being a creative is there's so much pressure that is mentally put on them to "make something" be it from others or themselves. There's something kind of nice about just waking up, going to work, eating dinner and going to bed. There's no expectations and therefore no pressure or extra work to be done.

Yes, I agree with everything you've said.  It's wonderfully liberating to once-and-for-all move on from something complicated like this.  But you have to carefully discern this, and who and what you are.  Are you or aren't you a musician and a composer?  That's the big question.  It obviously isn't about the equipment, but about your own identity.  And if you decide the musician-composer identity was a mistake, then move on and don't look back.  Having an ordinary life certainly has its joys and comforts.  But it seems to me you're not entirely at peace about this.  Otherwise, you wouldn't have started this discussion.
« Last Edit: January 25, 2023, 05:43:42 AM by Sacred Synthesis »
"Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity!"

- Henry David Thoreau

The Musical Synthesizer YouTube Channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChLGwGiRVs7rlZXnOG9_mUw

The Musical Synthesizer Blog: https://themusicalsynthesizer.wordpress.com

Re: Considering selling off all my gear.
« Reply #8 on: January 24, 2023, 03:13:28 PM »
The problem is I currently have a "All or nothing" type mentality so it's at a point now where if I'm going to do something I'm just going to go all the way and not look back. I was actually speaking with Espen Kraft about it and he said sometimes it's better to just cut and run. Sell off everything and don't look back and just move on. I remember reading up on this makeup/special effects artist Rob Bottin (he did the effects in The Howling, John Carpenter's The Thing etc) and now he just works in real estate and doesn't do anything creative and I dunno a lot of people look at that and say "Ugh what a waste. How sad." but I dunno, is it? He doesn't owe anyone anything. He isn't hurting anyone. What's the issue? I think the problem with being a creative is there's so much pressure that is mentally put on them to "make something" be it from others or themselves. There's something kind of nice about just waking up, going to work, eating dinner and going to bed. There's no expectations and therefore no pressure or extra work to be done.

Yes, I agree with everything you've said.  It's wonderfully liberating to once-and-for-all move on from something complicated like this.  But you have to carefully discern this, and who and what you are.  Are you or aren't you a musician and a composer?  That's the big question.  It obviously isn't about the equipment, but about your own identity.  And if you decide the musician-composer identity was a mistake, then move on and don't look back.  Having an ordinary life certainly has its joys and comforts.  But it seems to me you're not entirely at peace about this; otherwise, you wouldn't have started this discussion.

The one thing I'm debating on is what to do with my output. I don't really want to keep it accessible to me. Part of me wants to get rid of it all together but my gf suggested I just save everything to an external drive, delete my YouTube channel and pages and just put the external drive in storage. That way it's not in my face taunting me.

When someone asks "What do you do?" soon as you say "I am a writer" "I am a filmmaker" "I am a musician" "I am a painter" etc there is suddenly this incredibly amount of pressure to prove your worth. Not just from others but from yourself as well. That answer always followed up with "Let's see your work." "What have you done lately?" "What are you working on?" "Why aren't you on this platform?" "Why haven't you posted this week?" "How many followers do you have?"
But if you respond "I'm a grocery clerk." "I'm a truck driver" "I flip burgers" "I work at a call center" there's suddenly no pressure. No stress to prove your worth or explain yourself. It's cut and dry. There's no self doubt because there's nothing expected of you.
There's something really liberating about coming to terms with the fact you're just existing and the only dreams you have are the ones when you sleep.

Re: Considering selling off all my gear.
« Reply #9 on: January 24, 2023, 04:00:25 PM »
When someone asks "What do you do?" soon as you say "I am a writer" "I am a filmmaker" "I am a musician" "I am a painter" etc there is suddenly this incredibly amount of pressure to prove your worth. Not just from others but from yourself as well. That answer always followed up with "Let's see your work." "What have you done lately?" "What are you working on?" "Why aren't you on this platform?" "Why haven't you posted this week?" "How many followers do you have?"

But if you respond "I'm a grocery clerk." "I'm a truck driver" "I flip burgers" "I work at a call center" there's suddenly no pressure. No stress to prove your worth or explain yourself. It's cut and dry. There's no self doubt because there's nothing expected of you.

There's something really liberating about coming to terms with the fact you're just existing and the only dreams you have are the ones when you sleep.

Once again, I totally agree with you.  The "So what do you do?" question is the one that artists most dread, because we're being asked to justify ourselves compared with the very different standard of life and work around us.  Devoting your life to beauty isn't in the least bit appreciated - although when people face hard times, it's one of the first things they seek out for comfort.  What's implicitly being asked is, "Do you make as much money as the rest of us, or are you wasting your time?" 

I wouldn't base an important life decision on this, because you're the one that will have to live with your choice, day by day.  But I wouldn't glorify the life of mediocrity either, the daily grind.  It has its security and predictability, but some people want more than just survival. 

It sounds to me like the main thing you want is stability and to be free of the complications brought on by dreams.  It's understandable.   
« Last Edit: January 25, 2023, 05:48:06 AM by Sacred Synthesis »
"Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity!"

- Henry David Thoreau

The Musical Synthesizer YouTube Channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChLGwGiRVs7rlZXnOG9_mUw

The Musical Synthesizer Blog: https://themusicalsynthesizer.wordpress.com

Re: Considering selling off all my gear.
« Reply #10 on: January 24, 2023, 06:50:17 PM »
When someone asks "What do you do?" soon as you say "I am a writer" "I am a filmmaker" "I am a musician" "I am a painter" etc there is suddenly this incredibly amount of pressure to prove your worth. Not just from others but from yourself as well. That answer always followed up with "Let's see your work." "What have you done lately?" "What are you working on?" "Why aren't you on this platform?" "Why haven't you posted this week?" "How many followers do you have?"

But if you respond "I'm a grocery clerk." "I'm a truck driver" "I flip burgers" "I work at a call center" there's suddenly no pressure. No stress to prove your worth or explain yourself. It's cut and dry. There's no self doubt because there's nothing expected of you.

There's something really liberating about coming to terms with the fact you're just existing and the only dreams you have are the ones when you sleep.

Once again, I totally agree with you.  The "So what do you do?" question is the one that artists most dread, because we're being asked to justify ourselves, in light of the very different view of life and work around us.  What's implicitly being asked is, "Do you make as much money as the rest of us?" 

I wouldn't base an important life decision on this, because you're the one that will have to live with your choice, day by day.  But I wouldn't glorify the life of mediocrity either, the daily grind. 

It sounds to me like the main thing you want is stability and to be free of the complications brought on by dreams.  It's understandable.

Simplicity and stability for the most part but yes free of the complications brought on by dreams. Something kind of nice about just having a routine of waking up, going to work, grabbing dinner, sitting on your porch and watching the stars and just going to bed to do it all over again. There's no "I want to" or "I wish" but simply "I am."

Re: Considering selling off all my gear.
« Reply #11 on: January 24, 2023, 07:12:29 PM »
When someone asks "What do you do?" soon as you say "I am a writer" "I am a filmmaker" "I am a musician" "I am a painter" etc there is suddenly this incredibly amount of pressure to prove your worth. Not just from others but from yourself as well. That answer always followed up with "Let's see your work." "What have you done lately?" "What are you working on?" "Why aren't you on this platform?" "Why haven't you posted this week?" "How many followers do you have?"

But if you respond "I'm a grocery clerk." "I'm a truck driver" "I flip burgers" "I work at a call center" there's suddenly no pressure. No stress to prove your worth or explain yourself. It's cut and dry. There's no self doubt because there's nothing expected of you.

There's something really liberating about coming to terms with the fact you're just existing and the only dreams you have are the ones when you sleep.

Once again, I totally agree with you.  The "So what do you do?" question is the one that artists most dread, because we're being asked to justify ourselves, in light of the very different view of life and work around us.  What's implicitly being asked is, "Do you make as much money as the rest of us?" 

I wouldn't base an important life decision on this, because you're the one that will have to live with your choice, day by day.  But I wouldn't glorify the life of mediocrity either, the daily grind. 

It sounds to me like the main thing you want is stability and to be free of the complications brought on by dreams.  It's understandable.

Simplicity and stability for the most part but yes free of the complications brought on by dreams. Something kind of nice about just having a routine of waking up, going to work, grabbing dinner, sitting on your porch and watching the stars and just going to bed to do it all over again. There's no "I want to" or "I wish" but simply "I am."

You make a good case for simplifying one's life. I know as I get older, I'm more aware of all kinds of clutter - physical stuff and mental junk. Still, and I say this while dealing with my own father's failing health, I'd still hope for you to hold onto a few things that are precious to you and that connect you to him. The Prophet X that your dad got for you, right? Maybe lend it to a friend or find a way to let it go without losing it, but I do wonder if that's maybe one instrument that might have its own layered value for you. I think you know we're all rooting for you, whatever decisions you might make. You've struck a nerve or two amongst some of us. Traveling through life with a passion for making music is a unique challenge that perhaps only other musicians can quite make sense of.

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Re: Considering selling off all my gear.
« Reply #12 on: January 24, 2023, 07:34:22 PM »
I've had loved ones with clinical depression--it runs in my family--and I've seen how it takes the joy from beloved activities. Simply saying, "But you really love that, right?" is no good, because it runs deeper than people realize.

You're not going to make an irreversible mistake here. You may want to return to making music when things improve, in which case you'll buy instruments again. Maybe not the same instruments, but in general the stakes aren't super-high.

I like Sacred Synthesis's suggestion, though. Sell off something, see how it feels, re-evaluate, and repeat if you want to.
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Shaw

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Re: Considering selling off all my gear.
« Reply #13 on: January 24, 2023, 10:41:29 PM »
I suppose this has been a long time coming. I'm suffering quite a bit from depression recently and I'm strongly considering selling off all of my gear. For a number of reasons, one the cost of living has risen to the point where despite making more money then I ever have before I still am struggling to make ends meet and as such I've already sold the Stratocaster my dad bought me, my Ibanez guitars, my Jackson V guitars, sold off my Alesis Multistrike Pro just to cover bills.

More recently my computer has been acting up quite a bit and needs to either be repaired or replaced, I don't have the funds for this either so that has put a pause on doing any recording at all. This has given me time to reflect on what music or just being a creative (Writing, painting, filmmaking etc) means to me. I'm now forced to focus more on survival rather than personal desires and goals (Which I think is the story of everyone's life right now) and with that focus I've come to the conclusion that I don't really have the desire to do it anymore. I'm so concerned with spending money on..well...anything that I've lost all the momentum to continue. I don't want to spend money on cables or a new computer because I'm afraid something is going to come up where I'll need that money and I'd rather have it rather than be scrambling for it.

Anyway, this is a random rant. I'm not even sure anyone has noticed that I haven't really been active on here or my YouTube channel or FB groups or whatever, I think it's time to call it quits for me. Just wondering if anyone else has ever experienced something similar or if they have actually sold off everything before and what was their thought process afterwards?


Very sorry to hear this LoboÖ  I would also like to offer a suggestion based on past experience.  I recently sold everything because I moved overseas.  And now Iím rebuilding my little ďproject studioĒÖ but in rebuilding, Iíve taken a very minimalist stance.  One guitar, one bass, one synth (yet to be purchased), a Fractal Ax3 for amps / effects, and a computer running a DAW.  Thatís it.  The limited resources allow me to focus on music creation instead of ďgear tinkeringĒÖ instead of spending hours audition guitar and amp combinations for a part, I just pick up the 1 guitar I have and press record.   As a result, I am both happier and am recording more stuff which also makes me happier.   


So my suggestion is this:  if you can (financially), find your minimalist set of gear.  Get rid of everything else.  You can compose a masterpiece with (for example) a Prophet X and a DAW.  Nothing else needed.


Youíre a musician.  Iíve listened to your stuff.  Youíre talented.  If you can avoid getting rid of absolutely everything, youíll feel better about the whole process.  Everyone needs a hobby.  For you, it seems to be music creation.  Find a way to keep that hobby alive.


Best of luck, my friend.
"Classical musicians go to the conservatories, rockīn roll musicians go to the garages." --- Frank Zappa

jg666

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Re: Considering selling off all my gear.
« Reply #14 on: January 25, 2023, 12:38:21 AM »
I always consider my synth obsession as a hobby rather than calling myself a musician, that way I feel no pressure at all to produce anything that sounds good :) I sold my stuff off in my 20s - I had a keyboard and bass guitar and amp/speaker etc and then was always wanting something else to replace it, but because you never get the full worth of these things when you sell them, you then have to save up longer to replace them.

I too need a new computer but can't afford one at the moment - I built my current PC in 2011 and have only replaced the hard drive for an SSD one since then. A new PC would be nice but not worth losing sleep over as I never record anything that I do. I play my instruments for my own pleasure and for relaxation... i just enjoy the physical process of doing this and can soon lose half a day just messing around with them making noise. It's a great way for me to stop thinking about my problems and to get some pleasure out of life. Even if I'm not really playing I find it helps. I could be creating some new patches or programming a new sequence, it all helps to keep my mind occupied with something rather than feeling sorry for myself.

The suggestion above of keeping at least something is a good one in my opinion. Once it's all gone then you might regret it and miss your instruments and make yourself feel worse.

I always try to remember that there's no pressure on me to be creative, there's no pressure on me to produce something that other people will like, I'm just doing it all for enjoyment and for my own entertainment.

:) best of luck with your decisions and future life


 
DSI Prophet Rev2, DSI Pro 2, Moog Sub37, Korg Minilogue, Yamaha MOXF6, Yamaha MODX6, Yamaha Montage6

LPF83

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Re: Considering selling off all my gear.
« Reply #15 on: January 25, 2023, 08:03:42 AM »
So my suggestion is this:  if you can (financially), find your minimalist set of gear.  Get rid of everything else.  You can compose a masterpiece with (for example) a Prophet X and a DAW.  Nothing else needed.

I would second this recommendation.  In fact, even your DAW can be minimalized -- some consider producing on an Akai MPC to be "DAWless", but it is actually a DAW in itself.  It is very limiting in a lot of ways, for example only 8 audio tracks, but a lot of legendary hits were created with 8 tracks.  Plus Akai stuff is durable/well made and not as subject to planned obsolescence as if working with a mainstream OS like Windows or MacOS.

Not saying the MPC is necessarily the right device for you.  Just that maybe you could solve the PC upgrade issue by switching to some sort of dedicated hardware sequencer, and simplify the rest of your setup to only the bare minimum needed as Shaw suggested.
Prophet 10, Prophet 6, OB-6, Prophet 12m, Prophet Rev2-16, Toraiz AS-1, Pro 2, Virus TI2, Moog SlimPhatty, Hydrasynth desktop, Korg Minilogue XDm, Roland JP-8080, Roland System-8, Roland SPD-SX SE / Octapad, Maschine, Cubase

Jason

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Re: Considering selling off all my gear.
« Reply #16 on: January 26, 2023, 07:58:18 AM »
I always consider my synth obsession as a hobby rather than calling myself a musician, that way I feel no pressure at all to produce anything that sounds good :)

The suggestion above of keeping at least something is a good one in my opinion.

I always try to remember that there's no pressure on me to be creative, there's no pressure on me to produce something that other people will like, I'm just doing it all for enjoyment and for my own entertainment.

The above summarizes some of the great advice given here.

Before the pandemic, I had been thinking about selling my gear too. Since I was a child, my focus as a musician had been to play/practice and to perform live. For a variety of reasons (including some hearing loss), I had completely lost all interest in performing live. Months went by... and then a few years. People told me that my motivation would return, but I wasn't so sure. Whenever I would see my musical equipment, I would feel a little guilty and wonder if I should start selling. My identity was shifting into different directions and areas of interest. Then the pandemic really hit, and suddenly I was homebound and unable to participate in my current hobbies. I was able to work from home, and so I was able to have the life that you currently find appealing: ("Something kind of nice about just having a routine of waking up, going to work, grabbing dinner, sitting on your porch and watching the stars and just going to bed to do it all over again. There's no "I want to" or "I wish" but simply "I am."")

The "problem" is that such a lifestyle isn't especially satisfying when we look backward. (The Nobel Prize winning psychologist and economist Daniel Kahneman refers to this as the difference between our "experiencing self" and our "remembering self.") What makes us happy moment by moment is not same as what makes us happy about our lives when we look back on it. (In fact, most of the things that make us happiest in the moment will make us less happy in the future.) I'm into meditation and love the idea of simply being... without craving... just living in the moment. I am vs. I want/I wish. But if we spend the whole day trying only to enjoy our moments (by really living in the moment), we won't necessarily feel good about how we spent our time at the end of our day, year, or life.

A great deal is known about how to be happy: prioritize sleep/nutrition/exercise/giving/human connections, etc... and a major piece is achieving Meaning. We become happy when we decide what has meaning, set a related goal and start to move in that direction.

I eventually shifted gears. I decided that playing live no longer had much meaning for me personally. But I saw meaning in the idea of making videos and posting them on YouTube, where they can be enjoyed by other people whom I will never meet. Additionally, a YouTube channel can continue to be enjoyed by others even after I'm dead.

If I lost my musical motivation and needed the money, I would start selling gear a little at a time. But I would try very hard to keep at least one keyboard (probably my Montage 8 because it has great pianos and is very versatile) and a computer/DAW. Whether or not I own one keyboard is probably not going to make or break me, and if/when my motivation returns, I'll have something to work with.

Wishing you the very best.
- Jason

Re: Considering selling off all my gear.
« Reply #17 on: January 26, 2023, 11:29:50 AM »
I get the sense from this thread that quite a few of us struggle with the gear issue, not as an obsession that can't be satisfied, but as a frustration that tends to depress.  The problem as it seems to be described here is not that we can't have as much as we'd like, but that we want it in the first place; whereas we'd rather not.  It causes stress and depression, so that we want to get out of the field and back into ordinary life with its simple common charms.

In my opinion, the best solution is not to get out of music altogether, but to have only as little equipment as is needed.  If you minimize your gear and maintain or increase your productivity, it seems you can have both - a relatively free and simple life, plus music.  And music is a kindly old friend to have as you age.  But the synthesizer/music production industry thrives on our proclivity to lust after gear as an end in itself, and it takes every opportunity to capitalize on our weakness.  Hence, the endless procession of new instruments.  And of course, the Internet plays a huge role in maintaining this gear obsession with constant gear chatter.  It provides the soft porn that maintains the hunger.

I've found that the best way to fend off GAS is to find the instruments that serve my musical needs and keep them for years, even for decades.  I've had the same synthesizers since Dave Smith first designed them.  That means I've been using the Prophet '08 and Poly Evolver for fifteen years now.  As new stuff comes and goes, I just continue using the same old instruments. 

We don't have to succumb to the big materialist monster that wants to eat us alive.  Nor should we be content to allow it to ruin music itself.  Find your favorite instrument or two, and then be content.  And whatever you do, stay off the forums!  ???
« Last Edit: January 26, 2023, 12:17:46 PM by Sacred Synthesis »
"Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity!"

- Henry David Thoreau

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LPF83

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Re: Considering selling off all my gear.
« Reply #18 on: January 26, 2023, 12:08:16 PM »
I get the sense from this thread that quite a few of us struggle with the gear issue, not as an obsession that can't be satisfied, but as a frustration that tends to depress. 

I think GAS is a problem all of us struggle with, for sure.  I consider mine "manageable" in the sense that I now only seek specific instruments for a specific purpose... for example I don't feel compelled to drop 5k on a Model D reissue simply because it was never one of my favorite synths to begin with (I'd like to own one but not at that price). 

Lobo said something else that I related to very well though, and that's about people you meet asking to hear your work.  I hate when people ask what my hobbies are, then want to hear complete tracks I've made, because I have not really completed one to my liking in a very long time.  I stopped doing music for the sake of the end product a long time ago.  I don't care if I have tracks to upload or share with anyone.  I care about the journey of creating music itself.  The tracks that I do create do not have enough time invested in them to be considered my best effort, and I would never want to burden someone else's ears with anything less than my best effort, so there is no more music sharing going on from me for now.  Maybe when I retire and have time to do it right, if I still have inspiration, I might revisit those goals.  But I think Lobo should also find ways to relieve himself of that burden of other people caring what you do for a living or wanting to evaluate the content you create, etc.  It's just too much pressure... even very successful celebrities that earn a good living still end up succumbing to the pressure any audience can bring.

And lastly, I'm going to point to another thread that I wrote a while back that discusses a phenomenon I've noticed.... All of the music people I've known that passed away, wanted to spend their last dying moments creating or playing music on the way out.  It took precedence over everything else in their limited lifespan.  To me this means that for many of us, music is instrinsically important.  And for that reason I am voting in favor of never completely putting it down... streamlining gear setup maybe, but never putting it down.

Here is that thread:  https://forum.sequential.com/index.php/topic,5031.0.html
Prophet 10, Prophet 6, OB-6, Prophet 12m, Prophet Rev2-16, Toraiz AS-1, Pro 2, Virus TI2, Moog SlimPhatty, Hydrasynth desktop, Korg Minilogue XDm, Roland JP-8080, Roland System-8, Roland SPD-SX SE / Octapad, Maschine, Cubase

Re: Considering selling off all my gear.
« Reply #19 on: January 26, 2023, 12:22:32 PM »
An excellent thread, and rather colorful in places.  And Lobolives wrote in it,

"...G.A.S. is not so much an investment into 'stuff' but it's an investment into my mental health and happiness."

Lobolives, could you take your own advice now?  I realize you have financial problems also.  But music is a comforting companion in an often sad and lonely life.
« Last Edit: January 26, 2023, 01:35:32 PM by Sacred Synthesis »
"Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity!"

- Henry David Thoreau

The Musical Synthesizer YouTube Channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChLGwGiRVs7rlZXnOG9_mUw

The Musical Synthesizer Blog: https://themusicalsynthesizer.wordpress.com